Smokin Sevens

There is the Atkins Diet, Jenny Craig, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers, diet pills, and many other surefire weight loss methods available for dieting Americans. To me there are too many options making the whole thing way more complicated than it needs to be. What ever happened to cutting back portions and exercising? Oh yeah, I forgot. That requires self control and effort. Well lets break it down and see what you really need to know about weight loss. And before someone points out the obvious, I am not a registered Dietician, but then again does it really require that much education to figure out how to lose weight (I apologize to all those Dieticians out there reading this post)?

Factors of Weight Loss or Weight Gain (Oh yes, it goes both ways!):
1) Calories - Lucky you. If you don’t burn them, your body will save them for later.
2) Carbs (Carbohydrates for those not cool enough to call them carbs) - Carbs are like lighter fluid. If you don’t use them up, you will blow up. Not literally of course.
3) Fat - It’s like adding clay to a sculpture that doesn’t need any more clay. You eat fat and you will become ___. Fill in the blank. (Hint: Fat)
4) Protein - Protein diets work great (I can’t prove it, but it sure sounds good), but make sure your protein ain’t drippin’ grease.
5) Cholesterol - Not good for your heart; not good for you.
6) Exercise - You mean I have to work to lose weight? Still the best method of weight loss short of going after your stomach with a Swingline (that’s a brand of stapler for those of you who don’t know).
7) Serving Size - Eat Big, Be Big. Eat Small, Be Small.

What did I miss? Let me know. You Dieticians are welcome to join in and set me straight. I will be disappointed if you don’t.

Roid Rage, The Clear, Andro, Doping, and on and on and on…

With steriods becoming more and more a part of the American consciousness, I thought I would see if I can help people identify steriod use so they can avoid some of its consequences.

Seven Decent Signs of Steriod Use:
1) Small sack. Nuff said.
2) Huge a$$ed veins popping in someone’s forehead.
3) A head that does not fit in a “one-size fits all” baseball hat.
4) A striking similarity in behavior to the Incredible Hulk.
5) The use of a gallon milk jug as a water cup.
6) The use of bronzing body lotion.
7) 95% of a person’s nutritional intake comes from GNC.

I know there are more, but I have got to stop somewhere. This site is Smokin’ Sevens afterall, not Smokin’ Fifties. What have I missed? Lets fill out the list in the comments.

With the recent WWE star killing his family and himself, I got to reflecting back to my childhood and remembered the good ol’ days when the WWF and mullets ruled the world. Here are my favorite WWF wrestlers from a few years back.

In no particular order, I present for your consideration the following:
1) Hacksaw Jim Duggin
2) Superfly Jimmy Snooka
3) Bam Bam Bigelow
4) The Ultimate Warrior
5) Macho Man Randy Savage
6) Hulk Hogan
7) Jake the Snake Roberts

Have I missed anyone? Let me know who would make your list.