Smokin Sevens

Now that Paris Hilton has been brought back down to earth, I thought I would take a look at some of the financial adjustments she is going to have to make.  Believe me, I am more than qualified to have this discussion.  Paris isn’t the only one who has lost sixty million dollars (don’t ask).  So Paris, you are broke and penniless.  What ever are you to do?

1. No more DUIs.  Those babies can get expensive.  Just ask Lindsay Lohan.
2. No more cute outfits for your doggie.  My Chihuahua has been wearing his birthday suit for the last eleven years and he still gets the honeys.
3. No more expensive cars.  Sorry girl, but it’s time to drive American again.
4. No more expensive hotels.  Check out the Hiltons.  They generally have clean towels and nicely located next to most major airports.
5. All your jewelry can be bought at Claire’s for a discount.  They even offer ear piercing for free.
6. You may have to watch some of your own home movies instead of renting.  :)  By the way, I still haven’t seen it and that is the truth.
7. Now you are going to have to get drunk at home before you go to the clubs.  This will save you a boatload of cash and you will be ready to roll from the time you hit the door.

Well I hope these tips help.  It’s going to get rough girl, but you can do it.  Just remember, if Grandpa’s millions aren’t available, you can always use your own.

So what’s poppin’ on the net?  Let’s find out.

Google Trends:

1. Tom Snyder - Talk show host dead at 71
2. Christy Freeman - Charged with killing a newborn.  Come on Christy.  Think!
3. Danica McKeller - Winnie from The Wonder Years.  Winnie, you had me at hello.
4. Dawn Fratangelo - NBC News correspondent
5. American Home Mortgage - In a bit of trouble in the markets
6. Eric Wishnie - NBC News Senior Producer killed in hit-and-run
7. Mark Teixeira - Baseball player traded from the Texas Rangers to the Atlanta Braves

Yahoo Buzz:

1. Skip Prosser - Men’s basketball coach at Wake Forest.  Dead at 56.
2. Etta James - Blues singer hospitalized
3. Wake Forest - See Skip Prosser
4. Pat Tillman - Coverup being investigated
5. Bridgette Wilson - Blondie on Billy Madison
6. Oscar The Cat - Cat who predicts the death of patients in his nursing home.  Keep him away from my grandma.
7. Wake Forest University - See Skip Prosser