Smokin Sevens

This is a post for a friend, The Search Sensei, who is going under the knife tomorrow. Turns out his elbow needs a little reconstruction. How did it get in this condition? Tennis of all things! With that in mind, lets come up with seven alternative stories that have a little more meat.

Dude, how’d you break your arm?

Sensei says:

1. Bear wrestling (pronounced raslin’). Editor’s note: I’ll put him up against any bear. Even one-handed.
2. Elbow drop on a punk who was lipping off about the Cardinals.
3. A run-in with the mafia. Turns out I wanted the corner table at the local Italian diner, so I just went and took it.
4. I was being interrogated by the KGB. Yeah, I speak a little Russian.
5. My girlfriend took my TV remote. She only did it once.
6. I broke it in a smash-and-grab at the local Victoria’s Secret. I needed some new posters for my wall.
7. Fell while auditioning to be Will Ferrell’s ice skating partner in Blades of Glory 2.

Good luck Sensei! Let me know how high you count before you fade out to la la land.

Happy Friday the 13th everyone. Here comes the daily buzz report. Enjoy! By the way, I hope someone realizes there is money to be made off of this information.

What’s Hot on Google Right Now? And yes, they report their results in lower case, so cut me some slack!

1. largest desert - A little research shows that it is the Sahara.
2. largest desert in the world - See above. Why is this so popular? Someone fill me in.
3. electrons - Why the sudden popularity of electricity? Have we run out of it somewhere?
4. static electricity
5. elmer’s glue - My favorite glue by far. I used to love making dried up spots of Elmer’s glue.
6. matthew miller - Too many Matthew Millers to know which one is pushing up the buzz needle. Get a more unique name, then come back and try again.
7. neutrons

Who are Yahoo’s Top Movers

1. Amy Polumbo - So Miss New Jersey is hanging in there. Nice work Amy. Apparently some of the fellas think you’re cute.
2. World’s Tallest Man - If you’ve ever seen me, you know it ain’t me!
3. Natalia Paris - Not to be confused with Hilton Paris.
4. Chicken Salad - No thank you.
5. Taryne Mowatt - Softball player for the University of Arizona
6. Laura Vandervoot - May be playing Supergirl in Smallville. It was on a website from India, so either it is true or a bunch of Indian techies are really hoping so.
7. Macaroni and Cheese - A much better option than chicken salad.

OK all of you internet marketing millionaires, it’s time for you to give up some of your secrets. Take a look at the questions below and pony up in the comment section below. If the comments are good, I will leave an outbound link to your website in your comment.

1. Which method of internet marketing brings the best return (email marketing, PPC, leads, CPM, affiliate marketing, others)?
2. What are the essential steps for our readers who are just getting started?
3. How many list subscribers does it take to generate a livable monthly income?
4. What is one of your best kept internet marketing secrets? Obviously it will no longer be a secret, but you have enough money already that you can share.
5. What is the biggest mistake you ever made in your internet marketing efforts?
6. What are your thoughts on joint ventures?
7. How many of you pump up your AdSense earnings with AdWords campaigns so the AdSense earnings look good in your advertising? Uh huh, I am on to your little secret.

Well good luck internet marketers and thank you in advance. Also, if any of you readers have any additional questions please post them in the comments and we will see if we can get some answers.

What is hot in the search engines today?  Let’s take a look.

 Google:

1. how do i live lyrics
2. step up 2
3. incisors
4. my first time
5. rob reiner
6. two tickets to paradise lyrics
7. miss new jersey pictures - These are tame.  This story is being blown out of proportion.  Others have done much worse.

Yahoo’s Top Movers:

1. W Magazine - Apparently this is a monthly fashion magazine published in America.  Who knew?  It’s no wonder I dress funny.
2. Oscar Pistorius - A double amputee sprinter.
3. Squid - An animal in the ocean.
4. Posh Beckham - Welcome back to America.  I am still not sure you were the best looking Spice Girl.  You are not bad though.
5. Rawni White - Apparently Rawni is a popular participant of the Redneck Games.
6. Amy Polumbo - See Miss New Jersey comment in the Google section above.
7. 12 Week Ultrasound

What is hot on Google and Yahoo right now?

Google Buzz:

1. Paula Cole
2. Willie Mays
3. Toddler on Ecstacy - Come on people. Why does this stuff have to happen?
4. Amsterdam Public Urinals
5. John Pinette
6. Barbie Bandits
7. Joey Fatone

Yahoo Top Movers:

1. Lindsay Wagner
2. Dalai Lama
3. Dan Patrick
4. Michelle Ryan
5. Zorse Pictures
6. Toni Collette
7. W-9 Form

By the way, congratulations go to the American League for winning the All-Star game. Nice game fellas. Ichiro is your MVP.

Making money online is not as difficult as it might appear. Here is a quick rundown of seven ways to make money on the internet.

1. Google AdSense - A lot of people are supplementing their income nicely with Google AdSense.
2. Affiliate Sales - Take a look at Commission Junction, Amazon, or Clickbank.
3. eBay - Sell stuff or sell information. Take a look at eBay’s hot items for ideas.
4. Craigslist - Got something to sell. Try Craigslist for posting an online classified.
5. Sell Leads - There are all kinds of companies out there in various industries that pay good money for leads. Take a look at Commision Junction to see which leads suit you the best.
6. Sell Links - Google is cracking down on paid links, but if you have a site that has good credibility in Google then you can make some good money selling outbound links.
7. Sell advertising - Banners are not dead. Take a look at your favorite websites and you will see what I mean.

Well good luck and invite me out on your yacht some day since I helped lead you to your riches.

Lets get a discussion going. What else can people do to make money online?

 So what’s happenin’ today?  Here are the top searches on Google and Yahoo for July 9, 2007.

 Top Seven Searches on Google:

1. Vladimir Guerrero - 2007 Home Run Derby Champion
2. Willie McCovey
3. Alex Rios - 2007 Home Run Derby Runner Up
4. Greek ABC Family
5. David Vitter
6. Johnny Grunge
7. Matt Holliday

Top Seven Search Movers on Yahoo:

1. Katie Couric - Not as happy at CBS as she thought she would be.
2. Bourne Supremacy - Can’t wait to see it.
3. Flirting
4. Trademark Properties
5. Meet the Press
6. Local Gas Prices - Send Help!  Time to start walking.
7. 787 Dreamliner - New offering from Boeing that made me some money in the stock market today.  Thanks Boeing!

In honor of the Smokin’ Sevens International holiday 7/7/2007, we would like to submit the following sevens as the most popular 7s of all time.

1. The 7 Deadly Sins
2. The 7 Days of the Week
3. 7 Hills of Rome
4. 7 Wonders of the Ancient World
5. 7 Notes in the Western Scale of Music
6. 7 Continents on Earth
7. God Rested on the 7th Day

Happy 7/7/2007 everyone! By the way, what did I miss? I know there are more out there because I saw a ton of good examples when researching for this post.

1. Ron Paul knows how to pronounce the names of foreign dignitaries.
2. President Bush knows how to make up his own.
3. I’ve never seen Ron Paul’s kids on Girls Gone Wild.
4. One of the two speaks in complete sentences.
5. Al Gore had more votes than both of them in 2000.
6. G. Dub has a better nickname than Ron (Ru Paul was already taken).
7. Bush has actually called Google “The Google”.  At least he isn’t claiming that he invented the internet.

by Scott Phillips

1. Cause if you’re high enough, you can totally see the hole in the ozone layer
2. If Tipper Gore was your mother, you’d smoke some pot too
3. How else do you think his father got the idea to invent the internet?
4. Because he was also on Valium, Xanax, Vicodin, Adderall and Soma so he figured, “what’s one more?”
5. Because he saved a bunch of money on his car insurance by switching to his father’s bank account
6. When you figure that he drives a hybrid car, that kind of negates the emissions of the  pot burning on top of his his empty Natural Light can.  That makes it more or less a push. That’s kind of trippy so it makes him smoke some pot.
7. Because while his father is always away trying to save the environment, he sits at home crying in his closet, drowning in a pool of neglect screaming “I wish global warming wasn’t ever born!”

What did we miss?