Smokin Sevens

Here is what is going on around the net and the US on July 5, 2007.  As always, we will keep it to the top seven items in each category.

Most Popular Google Searches:

1. president taylor
2. straight of magellan
3. earth s atmosphere
4. smallest us state
5. how many legs does a butterfly have
6. yak
7. supreme court justices

Yahoo’s Top Buzz Leaders:

1. Transformers
2. Megan Fox
3. Vanessa Minillo
4. WWE
5. Wimbledon
6. Limewire
7. Hi-5

What else is missing? I am considering adding the top books, music, movies, YouTube videos, eBay items, and TV shows. Please give me your feedback so I know what information will be the most helpful.

The name Ron Paul has come across my radar more lately so I finally decided to do a quick check to find out who this guy is.  Here is what I found out.

1. 2008 Presidential Candidate
2. Republican
3. Member of the US House of Representatives (10 terms)
4. Physician
5. Born August 30, 1935
6. Married and has five children
7. Pro-Life and opposed to “any federal regulation of abortion, gun control, capital punishment, gay marriage, or education.” (Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Paul)

So there you have it.  There is a lot more information on Wikipedia and in Google.

In honor of the 4th of July, lets take a stab at listing the 7 best fireworks ever.

1. Snakes - Light these babies on your driveway before your dad gets home.  The leftover black spots will hang around for years.
2. Tanks - Bad a$$ toys for bad a$$ boys.  You can blow them up with a sticky bomb (blackcat) once they’ve served their purpose.
3. Chickens - You know you bought em’.  I did too.  Great for sticky bomb disposal like the tanks.
4. Poppers - Just provide good clean fun.  I can fire them off with my teeth.  Ooh, look at me!
5. Saturn Missiles - Heads up in the crowd.  These little babies will run right up your tailpipe if you aren’t careful.  Also good material for sticky bomb disposal.
6. Lady Fingers - Quick fuse leads to numb fingers.  Ask me how I know.
7. Black Cats - The granddaddy of them all.  No firework kit is complete with out some of these.  Break them and light them.  Light a whole strand at once.  Build a black cat domino course.  Dump out the powder for some super explosives.  I miss my childhood.

Since this is Smokin’ Sevens, I am not allowed an 8th item.  However, when you run the blog, you run the show.  So as a compromise I present 7a) smoke bombs.  These are too fun to leave out.  Put a Lady Finger in the spent bomb cartridge and you have got yourself some more fun.

Other notables: sparklers, Roman candles, Thunder Bombs, M-80s, bottle rockets, concussion rounds, and strobe flashers.

Happy 4th of July everyone!  Have a safe holiday!  By the way, what have I missed?

What was that on A Rod’s wife’s shirt? I believe it rhymed with Buck Sue and shares the same initials as Friends University (Check out Friends if you have a minute. It is not every day someone brings it up in an internet conversation. You may even decide to buy a hat.). With that said, here are the most likely targets of the message.

1) Jeter’s lady friend. She must sit behind Mrs. Rod at the games. Who is the lucky lady nowadays anyway?
2) The guy behind her in the concession line. Wait, do the wives have to stand in line with everyone else?
3) The hot blond A Rod was spotted with a couple weeks ago. Surely that is not his sister.
4) Steinbrenner. Who knows, maybe he made a pass at Mrs. The Rod.
5) The Red Sox. Now that is just down right tasteless. Everyone loves the Red Sox. Wait, check that. That is just the media’s opinion.
6) The Fans. I hope not. Everyone just got back on the A Rod bandwagon. You can’t go kicking them off just yet.
7) The Media? Nah, it couldn’t be.

Who do you think the shirt was directed to? Surely I missed somebody.

I am taking a risk describing the G Shot process, but this seems like information people will need to know. That may not be true, but I bet you are at least curious about what the heck this is.

The Process: (For women only! Sorry guys.)
1) Look up a plastic surgeon.
2) Save up $1,850. This will be your quarterly G Shot payment.
3) Disrobe.
4) Allow a collagen injection in your g spot.
5) Wait a couple hours.
6) Test drive the newly enlarged spot with your partner.
7) Start saving up the next quarterly payment.

Doesn’t that sound like fun? Interested in more info? Check out the official website. Oh what we will go through nowadays in this society. Don’t forget, there are always risks with any procedure.

There is the Atkins Diet, Jenny Craig, South Beach Diet, Weight Watchers, diet pills, and many other surefire weight loss methods available for dieting Americans. To me there are too many options making the whole thing way more complicated than it needs to be. What ever happened to cutting back portions and exercising? Oh yeah, I forgot. That requires self control and effort. Well lets break it down and see what you really need to know about weight loss. And before someone points out the obvious, I am not a registered Dietician, but then again does it really require that much education to figure out how to lose weight (I apologize to all those Dieticians out there reading this post)?

Factors of Weight Loss or Weight Gain (Oh yes, it goes both ways!):
1) Calories - Lucky you. If you don’t burn them, your body will save them for later.
2) Carbs (Carbohydrates for those not cool enough to call them carbs) - Carbs are like lighter fluid. If you don’t use them up, you will blow up. Not literally of course.
3) Fat - It’s like adding clay to a sculpture that doesn’t need any more clay. You eat fat and you will become ___. Fill in the blank. (Hint: Fat)
4) Protein - Protein diets work great (I can’t prove it, but it sure sounds good), but make sure your protein ain’t drippin’ grease.
5) Cholesterol - Not good for your heart; not good for you.
6) Exercise - You mean I have to work to lose weight? Still the best method of weight loss short of going after your stomach with a Swingline (that’s a brand of stapler for those of you who don’t know).
7) Serving Size - Eat Big, Be Big. Eat Small, Be Small.

What did I miss? Let me know. You Dieticians are welcome to join in and set me straight. I will be disappointed if you don’t.

Roid Rage, The Clear, Andro, Doping, and on and on and on…

With steriods becoming more and more a part of the American consciousness, I thought I would see if I can help people identify steriod use so they can avoid some of its consequences.

Seven Decent Signs of Steriod Use:
1) Small sack. Nuff said.
2) Huge a$$ed veins popping in someone’s forehead.
3) A head that does not fit in a “one-size fits all” baseball hat.
4) A striking similarity in behavior to the Incredible Hulk.
5) The use of a gallon milk jug as a water cup.
6) The use of bronzing body lotion.
7) 95% of a person’s nutritional intake comes from GNC.

I know there are more, but I have got to stop somewhere. This site is Smokin’ Sevens afterall, not Smokin’ Fifties. What have I missed? Lets fill out the list in the comments.

With the recent WWE star killing his family and himself, I got to reflecting back to my childhood and remembered the good ol’ days when the WWF and mullets ruled the world. Here are my favorite WWF wrestlers from a few years back.

In no particular order, I present for your consideration the following:
1) Hacksaw Jim Duggin
2) Superfly Jimmy Snooka
3) Bam Bam Bigelow
4) The Ultimate Warrior
5) Macho Man Randy Savage
6) Hulk Hogan
7) Jake the Snake Roberts

Have I missed anyone? Let me know who would make your list.