Smokin Sevens

This just in!  Oscar the Cat has admitted to visiting with several people over the last week.  Amazingly each of them has met their end over the last few days.  Our apologies go out to the families of the following folks.

• Ingmar Bergman
• Skip Prosser
• Tom Snyder
• Bill Walsh
• Eric Wishnie

Apparently the Grim Reaper and Father Time have taken a little time off this summer and left Oscar in charge while they are out.  It has been reported that Oscar is now on his way to Atlanta to visit with Michael Vick’s dog who was recently renamed “Loser”.  Ouch!

This is a post for a friend, The Search Sensei, who is going under the knife tomorrow. Turns out his elbow needs a little reconstruction. How did it get in this condition? Tennis of all things! With that in mind, lets come up with seven alternative stories that have a little more meat.

Dude, how’d you break your arm?

Sensei says:

1. Bear wrestling (pronounced raslin’). Editor’s note: I’ll put him up against any bear. Even one-handed.
2. Elbow drop on a punk who was lipping off about the Cardinals.
3. A run-in with the mafia. Turns out I wanted the corner table at the local Italian diner, so I just went and took it.
4. I was being interrogated by the KGB. Yeah, I speak a little Russian.
5. My girlfriend took my TV remote. She only did it once.
6. I broke it in a smash-and-grab at the local Victoria’s Secret. I needed some new posters for my wall.
7. Fell while auditioning to be Will Ferrell’s ice skating partner in Blades of Glory 2.

Good luck Sensei! Let me know how high you count before you fade out to la la land.